Saturday, 21 July 2007

Eaten by the Birds

'If you wake up every morning in a new place you will eventually forget what it's like to be rooted, and thus you will be as seed, to be tossed in the wind and eaten by birds.'

Leviticus 11:13

How do you, my naive milking crusader, do?

I am replying. Here. Look:

Last night my woman and I sat down and had a talk.
"You're draining my emotional resources" I told her.
"You're draining mine" She said.
"I really love you and I don't want anyone else", I said, "it's just that I need to sort my shit out, I feel pretty worthless right now".
I stared at the wall. she stared at the ceiling. I rubbed my eyes. She wiped snot on her sleeve.
"What do you want to do?" She asked.
I took a few deep breaths, I've given up smoking, I take lot's of deep breaths now, it's my new coping mechanism.
"Dunno" I said.

Might run off to sea. Got this crazy idea about being a freelance foreign correspondent. She's going to go to London for a month or so- Trial Separation- fucking sucks.

And so I write, and er self promote.
And take deep breaths.
The wound on my shin is a nasty one but it's healing nicely now. Playing football tonight.

Morose, yet strangely righteous.
Left wing, yet largely fascistic.
Just lining up the letters, ones and zeros,
Rooted, yet still tossed and eaten by birds.

Love, my brother, there is always love.


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